Random Tankar

Drenching My Bed in Tears: Gud hjälp mig.

A dream. Grandpa was in it and I was trying to file some papers alphabetically. As a struggled trying to remember what the dream was about, I started sobbing. My God, I never sobbed like this before! I stifled my tears as best I could so I wouldn’t wake up the neighbors. Both my family of origin in the States and my Swedish family came to mind. The tears wouldn’t stop! In all this I could sense a healing of my psyche going on. So I called silently to God to take all the pain and trauma suffered in my life and replace it with all the love and acceptance min familj i Sverige har för mig (my Swedish family has for me).

There has been a lot of things on my mind. The flooding of the EU with migrants, a posting by a doctoral student on the APA Psych Blog dealing with a gender nonconforming client who is neither male or female, and an abbreviated conversation on the bus about Emmanuel Levinas (French Philosopher/Talmudist) and his view of human beings as being infinite, indescribable, and Godlike.

I went back to sleep again and dreamed I was in a house with blue stucco walls. The were so dirty with black splotches and with the damp rag I had I struggled to clean them. Then I had another rag and there were two shallow pans of water to wet the rag with. Feeling revitalized I decided to start on another wall that had real fine writing on it. The writing disappeared from the wall as if it was just a very light layer of soot.

So what do these two dreams mean? They are related, I believe, by what has gone on in my life since my Swedish aunt and cousin, after a 10 year search, found me in the States. My faith in God plays into it also. The walls in the house were the same color as the walls in the house I grew up in. Water signifies cleansing, Baptism, the Woman at the Well. (When I went to church in Sweden with my aunt and cousin the Praest gave her sermon on Jesus encountering the woman at the well.).

Many books have been written about dreams:  from Freud to the latest thing at the local book store.  If you try to remember (or write down) the dream and honestly reflect on where your life is at present, you will learn a lot from this unconscious instructor.

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